Balance And Choice
Life is all about balance and we like to think that everything is in balance. From the vast expanse of the universe to the atom’s nucleus, it’s the balance that keeps life in motion.
When the wheels of our lives are in balance—life is exciting, full of pleasure and wonder. This smooth rotation is based on all of the elements of our life operating at their fullest potential. While it may be a little eccentric I have used the following affirmation to help me stay in balance which from the question “why am I here”.
“It’s my choice to be clear and communicate my intention, treating myself and all life with compassion. As I change and consent, I allow the creation of my ideal life and celebrate my commitment to the connection of all that is in the universe.”
By now I’m sure you noticed a number of words starting with “C”. As a performer, I’ve come to realize that the formula for personal freedom has existed around me every day of my life. Whether it is through family, music or business, the parallels are undeniable.
These ten C’s of Freedom provide the heart in the music of my life and our journey together is done – I trust you will be playing your own symphony.
The first one is “choice”.
Robert Foster Bennett said, “Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously.”
Unfortunately, the balance is thrown off by the dozens of choices we make unconsciously.
Fortunately, we can change!
Here are a few questions:
- How do you react to compliments or insults?
- What is your response to getting a promotion or being released from a job?
- What about birth and death?
If you think about it–we choose to be affronted by insults and happy with compliments.
Therefore, we can choose to not be upset by the insult or pleased with the compliment.
It is a society that chooses to rate “evil” on a scale of one to ten. As a result,
- It’s ok to tell a little white lie to keep from hurting someone’s feelings
- It’s ok to sacrifice your integrity when the boss or client asks for your opinion and you know he doesn’t really want it
- It’s not ok to cheat on a test.
- Payback is ok when it’s about getting back some of your own but not if someone else does it and you get caught in the crossfire.
Therefore, the inconsistencies go and we are frustrated by confusion.
It is no wonder that the youth of today have a difficult time trying to get a handle on “what’s ok” and “what’s not”.
We become so caught up in “keeping score” and we forget that the only one we can ever begin to keep track of is ourselves.
There is a little saying that goes: “There is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us that it ill behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us”.
This illustrates that balance and life are about taking care of our OWN conscious, our own choices.
Have you had the opportunity to have your children use “that tone of voice” and tell you “whatever”! It really got me to thinking about how often my actions say the same thing “whatever”.
The choices I make to live by are sometimes by default rather than with purpose and intent.
We have the freedom to be “who we are”, as well as to choose our responses. And whatever the event, we may not like the alternative choice that comes to mind but there is never “no choice”.
We choose the “who”, “what”, “where”, “when”, “why” and “how” we spend our energy.
Our energy is spent as time, money, attention or intention.
We choose our thoughts, words, and actions. Moving forward, consider GIGO which stands for “Garbage In, Garbage Out”. When we participate in activities or dwell on all that is wrong with our relationships, the world, our life – we exacerbate the negative emotions.
Did you know that Mother Theresa would never go to an Anti-War Rally, but she was willing to go to a Peace Rally?
Think about it. What’s the difference? It’s the focus.
Consider the energy wasted in focusing on the problems of war versus the benefits of peace. That’s a choice to use words in favor of what you want verses what you don’t want.
What would you do if you never used the word “Don’t” or “Can’t”? What would your world look like? What kind of world would that be for your children?
Here is an activity to uncover blocks to your freedom to see choices for what they are…choices and part of your solution.
Take a few minutes and write down a minimum of ten items that are standing in the way of your success or personal freedom while being as specific as you can.
Here are 3 that you might include:
- Money – There isn’t enough money to cover the mortgage. Or, we all know it takes money to make money.
- Relationships – My partner never supports the activities I enjoy
- Age – I’m too old/young to go after the things I want to accomplish
Now let’s take a second look and see how these same obstacles might be viewed as opportunities.
Consider that the support you are looking for from someone else might be coming from the inner conflict that you doubt yourself. Or it may be that your activity doesn’t make you as happy as you would like to think.
I have seen plenty of women go off to work or participate in a hobby then tell me how unsupportive their husbands are. Then in the same conversation, they also tell me how they dislike their jobs or how frustrated they are with something that is going on with their hobby.
I don’t think I’m sharing anything new when I say that it is no surprise the partner is not supportive. You’re gone and then in a bad mood when you return.
Would you want to be around you?
I remember an afternoon at a church function when a friend asked how my husband liked my funky colored fingernail polish. It was bright orange. It never entered my mind that he wouldn’t like it because I did. I put it on out of fun and joy.
I shared that as long as I was happy about it and didn’t feel the need to ask for his approval, he was fine with it.
It’s my choice. I don’t know if he’d like it if I wore black – I know I wouldn’t so it becomes a moot point.
This is just one idea that would allow you to change how you interact with your life. It will also take time to make it a habit.
Remember, this is all about your feelings, your experiences, and your thoughts. There is no “right or wrong”, no “good or evil” as you continue down this path of exploration.
And I’m not far away if you have a question, you’re encouraged to ask it here in the comments or on my Facebook page Kira Wagner Enterprises.