Have you ever ignored that “still small voice”? Particularly when it wasn’t so “still” or “small”?
Today my dreams had taken me to events like – teaching someone to sing and they do great but I’m just doing the lead line of a barbershop tag, When I leave the World Behind. The lead part is “be-hind”; yep that’s it. Everyone else does the “cool” stuff. Then I’m back in HS and it’s the last day of my Senior Year and I didn’t get a yearbook – again. I’m walking around campus and as I arrive at the different booths (like a carnival) they are packing up and leaving… So I decided to take a look at a statement that has come up several times in the last 4 weeks “waiting to be chosen”.
The only time in school when I didn’t have to “wait to be chosen” for the team was when I paid to be on it. Specifically softball and gymnastics. Otherwise I was one of the last ones chosen for the team – especially if the team wanted to win.
When I began to look more closely it was a lot of images of having the opportunity to do something and opting out because it didn’t look the way I wanted it to. For example I never went to my senior prom. My boyfriend had to work that night and when my cousin offered to have her husband take me – I mean – I just “couldn’t”! And I didn’t go.
Even though I knew I could have but I only wanted to go with my boyfriend.
When I was in 4th grade I went with my mom to get new shoes; we went to Shallow’s Shoe Store – great mom and pop kind of place that always felt warm and inviting when you went in. I wanted a pair of brown suede shoes and after MUCH discussion (I REALLY wanted those cool shoes) – over my mom’s objections, she let me get them. We left the store and I hadn’t walked more than 50 feet when I stepped on a rock and split the bottom side of one of my shoes. I had to wear them that way – held together with tape and band aids for at least a month.
As I kept looking for incidents when I believed I caused harm or was harmed by going after and getting what I wanted.
Do you believe in past lives? I don’t know that I do or don’t – I’ve never seen a material proof of it 🙂 But, I DO believe in past life parables. As I was relaxing and looking – I saw Pontious Pilot “wanting to be the ruler”, “wanting to be in charge” and ignoring what he knew (I find no guilt in this man) yet handing Christ over to be crucified.
The next thing I heard was “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
I believe that Pilot was a child of God. He was part of the plan. He paid a price here on earth for sending a man to die just like Judas Iscariot did.
To send someone to die because of what you wanted and then to be forgiven for it. Can you imagine how that feels? I think I can in part and it all came full circle in terms of waiting to be chosen.
I was chosen; for a purpose much larger than playing on a kickball team. So were you. I am only responsible to listen to that still small voice and take action without waiting for someone here to “choose” me.
That’s part of succeeding in the game of life.
Are you waiting for someone to “choose” you?
Maybe we should choose ourselves….